Thursday 16 January 2014


Celebrity Big Brother CBB14. Frank Carson’s Dressing Room


Last nights CBB was hilarious. It involved an old school comedian called Frank Carson, who is no longer with us. And his dressing room. Sparring contestants Jim and Linda know the secret of Frank Carson’s Dressing Room. After about 240 clashes with each other so far, (Jim wished that his stir-fry would give Linda the shits) and told eager- to- mix and- cause- argy-bargys-housemate Luisa to “Ask Linda about  Frank Carson’s Dressing Room”? Which of, course Luisa did in a nano-second. And while we watched (like the other housemates) in bemused confusion, we just kept wondering what the hell went on That Dressing Room which caused Linda such upset; such hatred; such loathing towards Jim. WTF happened in there? 

Then there’s Brian, Linda’s deceased husband, another poor soul who is no longer with us, who was also involved with the deepening mystery. “How dare he bring my dead husband into this” ranted Linda who immediately erupted like the “volcano” that Jim had not inaccurately described, angrily rose from her bed to the garden with her  Primark pyjama bottoms billowing  in the night wind, and marched to the boys smoking den (there really isn’t any escape in there lads!)

Having failed in his mission to the give Linda the shits, Jim was confronted with a woman who really wants to kill him. She wants to kill him repeatedly. Linda hates Jim. She really, really hates him and whatever he does, whatever he says she is down on him like a ton of bitter bricks. She has hated him since the first night and there was obviously some very BAD history between the two. So, enter deceased Frank Carson and Linda’s dead husband Brian, the two new Celebrity Big Brother Housemates, two people Jim has resurrected from the grave.

Trying to diffuse the argument, Jim said: “No, no, no. Let's talk in the morning."

But Linda wasn't having any of it: 'I don't need to talk to you ever. But if you wanna talk to me about Frank Carson's Dressing Room behind my back, talk to me instead of being the little snidey s**t you are.”

Has Jim crossed a line? Yes. But it’s a line he has obviously been trying hard not to cross and finally cracked. It seems that from now on, the two showbiz vets may have to apply for CBB restraining orders to keep away from one another. Linda, who does seem to revel in her Jim hatred, can’t even bare to hear his name, breathe the same air and eat his stir-fries, seems to be so emotionally unbalanced by his existence that I think she may need some psychiatric counselling. As Jim gently put it “F*****g Loopy Bitch!”

At the time of watching it was hard not knowing what went on Frank Carson’s Dressing Room and what to make of it all but I could not help noticing there was a satisfied glint in Linda’s eye when Casey got upset and angry about the hurtful antics of another man in the house. No, sorry I meant Lee Ryan, who may have the form of a man but the moral fibre of a gang of cockroaches. Could it be that Linda hates men, as equally as she says Jim hates women?

What has transpired since the programme aired last night that Linda's husband was a bit of a tea-leaf who nicked £20 quid from Frank Carson's wallet. In Frank Carson's dressing room. And was duly  charged. All sounds rather preposterous to me!